Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
