So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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