Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize