Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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