Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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