Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
