Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
