I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
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