My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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