Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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