Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
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