I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
