You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
