and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
my sisters under your porch take her home
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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