I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize