"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
