New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
