i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
