Will you blow on my dice?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
