I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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