wat bout pragnant strippers??
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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