btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
