ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
