he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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