Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
