singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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