I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
