I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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