You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
