So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
