but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
