I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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