who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize