i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
