Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
