Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize