Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
