The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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