2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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