just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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