We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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