a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
