is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You know, be my cock's hype man.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
