Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
