I wanna passion pit in your ass
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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