your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
