You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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