There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
