are you still at the devil's house?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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