There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize