I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
