peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
