a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
