I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
