STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
