dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
