my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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