I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
