It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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