I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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